I hope you all had a blessed holiday season, enjoying your family and being thankful for what you have.

We spent Christmas with my mother in Atlanta. My cousin and her husband were also there. My mom wanted to prepare everything so nobody brought anything. And she prepared a feast. I would list everything she cooked but it would take the entire post. The preparation was her gift to us, she said, and you could tell how much she enjoyed doing it. My mom’s a young 72 and I thank God everyday for her good health and good spirits.

Given the state of the economy, most of our gifts this year were cash. It was very much appreciated. I just wish we had more to give.

George and I did exchange gifts. We went out on December 23rd and purchased them together. He got a GPS for the car and I got the iPhone (8 GB). He loves the GPS but the iPhone may be going back. The experience is not at all what I expected, though it was nice to return e-mails while sitting for an hour in traffic on Christmas Eve.

About that GPS. I learned early in my relationship with George that the old saying about men and directions was true, but this GPS has brought it home in a brand new way. Guess what? He debates the GPS. I couldn’t believe when he first did it. We decided to use it going out to dinner one night. Well, the GPS said the restaurant was on the right and he said it was on the left. I just looked at him. He was challenging “the lady,” which I how we refer to the GPS.

So now he has a GPS that he has to learn to trust. Men are too funny! My only comment during these GPS debates is “trust the lady” and then I shut up. Hey, if you’re not driving, there’s not too much you can say anyway.

I’d love to hear about your holidays. It’ll be a great way to start the year.

I know that’s not a topic you expect to see on my blog. Actually, it’s the name of another blog by a sales person at a major publishing house. It’s an interesting blog with some good information. He recently did a post on promotion that I found helpful. What You Can Do: Twelve Easy Steps, HERE.

My vacation from blogging is about up. I’ll be back next week with new posts.

Until then, take care of yourself.

I’m taking a break from new blog posts until the new year so I don’t have an original Newlywed at 50 post this week. For your reading pleasure, I point you to a blog that I enjoy reading, Life After 50. I really enjoyed (and could relate to) her post on Couple Dating so don’t miss that one.

Enjoy the holidays and keep safe! I’ll be back with new posts on January 4, 2010.

Those of you who read this blog regularly have probably noticed that I’m doing two blog posts a week: one in my Newlywed at 50 series and another about writing. Given my N@50 post about boundaries, I’m taking a break from blogging for the holidays. I’ll be back with new posts after the first of the year.

Since I’m not writing an original writing post this week, I thought I’d point you to an “interesting” article about the state of African-American fiction. To be honest, the cover and title, Afro Picks, disturbed me so badly that I have yet to read the article. I’m going to read it though and I’ll let you know what I think in 2010 which is only a week away. In the meantime, let me know what you think.

Here’s the link to the article: http://www.publishersweekly.com/article/CA6711430.html

Here’s the link to the cover, which you have to view:
http://www.publishersweekly.com/toc-archive/2009/20091214.html

It seems a lot of folks didn’t like the cover picture. Read what the editor says: http://www.publishersweekly.com/article/CA6711692.html

I really don’t have a problem with the image. My problem is with the combination of the image, the cover title and the article content. The image and the cover title did nothing for a genre that’s trying to mainstream itself.

The article really gave no new information. It was once again African-American fiction week at PW so the standard fare article was trotted out. I wonder what we’ll see next year.

Enjoy the holidays and be safe!

When I started doing these Newlywed at 50 posts, I thought I’d end up with some cute stories about my new husband. Instead, I’m gaining a bit of insight into my own quirks.

When you’re single, your schedule is pretty much your own. For me, there were few boundaries between work and personal life. When I worked in industry, I remember sending e-mail to my boss at 2am in the morning and getting a quick reply! You could say we were workaholics. Or you could say we had jobs with a lot of flexibility. Sure I worked in the evenings, but if I had a personal matter to attend to during the day, I would take the time away to do it and nobody blinked. They didn’t blink because they knew that I (and everybody else) put in more than a 40-hour workweek anyway.

Even now, it’s nothing for me to work in the evenings or on the weekends. I sat on a panel for new faculty at my school recently, and one of the things that I told them was to consider that they had a 24-hour clock each day and not an 8-hour clock. We don’t punch in at 8 and punch out at 5. We meet with students when they can meet. We conduct research and write articles. Some of us do these things better during the day while others of us do them better in the evenings. Some of us do them better in our offices while some of us do them better at home.

Well, things are a bit different when you have spouse. I learned this lesson on a recent trip that hubby and I took. Well, I needed to check my e-mail so we had to find an Internet Cafe so I could do so. Well, by the time we found the Cafe and I conducted my business, we had missed our scheduled tour. He didn’t say anything but the look he gave me spoke volumes.

I’ve got to establish some boundaries, y’all. I can’t plan to spend every weekend or every evening working, whether on my school work or my writing. There have to be “no work” times. I think this is going to be a challenge for me. It’s going to require me to be more structured than I am now. The term “balance” must have meaning for me.

I have a colleague (only one, I think) who has no home office and only works in his school office. He doesn’t send or respond to email from home. He basically has an 8-to-5 job.
I don’t think I’ll ever be that strict in my time allotment but I’m going to try to adopt some of his structure.

How do you all maintain balance in your lives?

I should have titled this post, Things that make you go hmm. What I’m going to do is share with you some of my incomplete thoughts on writing Christian fiction and ideas I’ve heard around the Christian fiction community. These really are incomplete ideas so feel free to help me think them through completely.

1. Some Christian fiction writers equate their novels to the parables that Jesus told. While I sorta understand what they mean, I’ve always found the connection a bit of a stretch. A parable wasn’t 300-400 pages long. Jesus didn’t charge $6-$25 to read one. Also, Jesus didn’t get upset when someone re-told the parable and gave away the ending. That was sorta the point of the parable. I think likening Christian fiction to parables is a way of elevating the work, but I’m not sure it needs that kind of elevating. Christian fiction novels are something good but they’re not parables.

2. If writing is ministry, what does it mean that in order to benefit from the ministry one has to buy the book? I’ve never said this aloud but I’ve always equated selling a book and calling it ministry to Rev. Ike selling prayer cloths. If it’s going to bless somebody, why do they have to pay for it? If someone has a need and you have the means to meet it in a book, why do they have to pay for the book? Well, the obvious answer is “writers and publishers have to eat, too” which I certainly understand. I want to make money just like any other writer, but what is the role of money in ministry? When do we tell our publishers to reduce the cover price so more people can have access to the books? When do we take a pay cut so that book prices can be lowered or books can be given away?

3. I went back to the apostle Paul (1 Corinthians 9) to get some clarity on the relationship between ministry and money. I’ve always focused on Paul’s bold statement that he worked so the church couldn’t claim any hold over what he did and said since he didn’t depend on their money. That supports my notion that the money you live on doesn’t have to come from your ministry. But Paul was also a sponsored missionary in that he lived off the support and gifts from the church communities to whom he ministered. So how does that translate to those of us who see writing as ministry?

It is difficult for me to conclude that if our writing is ministry the only way for folks to get ministered to is to buy the books we write. That’s too capitalist for me. If it’s ministry, we rejoice when books are shared, bought used, borrowed from the library, downloaded from the Internet. All because our purpose is to get the message out. But we have a dual purpose–to get the message out and to get paid. How do we reconcile the two?

Maybe instead of writing ministries what we have are Christian businesses (in most cases, sole proprietarships) that are run according to Christian principles and that produce novels that present the truth of the gospel in stories that reflect our contemporary society. By definition, a business has to make money to survive so it’s natural for a business to charge for its products.

I don’t think using the “Christian business” terminology takes anything away from what we do as Christian fiction writers. As Christians, we are called to do everything “as unto the Lord.” This applies to our jobs, raising our families, writing our books, everything. So what do you think?

This is the third post in my Newlywed at 50 series.

A close friend recommended that my dear hubby (DH) and I find a new home together rather than moving into his place or mine. We took that advice. My girlfriend’s husband moved into her house and she said it always felt like she was making room for him as opposed to them sharing their space. Wise observation, I thought.

So DH and I found our place together. Interestingly, it’s not a place I would have chosen as a single woman because it’s old (too much might need fixing and I can fix nothing) and it doesn’t have a garage (how do I get in and out without folks seeing me?). But it met our main criteria: large rooms.

Before either of us moved in, we discussed what we would take from our individual homes. I moved in first so that gave me the upper hand a bit since my stuff was placed in the new house first. The big winner in all this though was DH’s oldest daughter, who made out like a bandit. Her new apartment was practically furnished from stuff he wasn’t bringing with him. Lucky girl!

Our first purchase together was a king-sized bed. We both had queen sized beds. Mine ended up in our guest room and his ended up with his daughter.

The most used room in the house, the master bedroom, is where his influence is shown most through two huge recliners and a big-screen TV that are like his close friends. No, the TV is not a plasma or an LCD, which means it’s old and big and clunky, but it shows a great picture. He has a designated recliner and I have one. His is black and sits on the back side of the bed while mine is burgundy and sits on the front side of the bed. His is a rocker recliner; mine is not. I have a funny story about him and his chair that I’ll tell in a later post.

We debated the use of closet space before we moved as well. We both have a closet in the master bedroom, though a few of my things can be found in his. His overflow is in the guest room and mine is in the office. Then we have several of those vacuum storage bags of clothes all over house. I think we should have just given the clothes away. I don’t think we’re ever going to open those bags, especially since we can’t remember what is in which one. We needed towels when my brother and his family visited. Instead of searching those bags for the extra towels, it was easier to buy new ones. That’s sad.

The office is a space we thought we’d share but we were wrong. It’s become his office more than mine. My office floats around the house, but is primarily in the master bedroom in my big burgundy recliner. I do love that chair. I consider it his wedding gift to me.

I thought bathrooms would be an issue, but they weren’t. This house, because it’s older, has very small bathrooms by today’s standards. No double sinks in the master, no whirlpool tubs, no two-person showers. The master has a single sink with cabinet, a commode and a shower. That’s it. The guest bath is about twice as large, with a tub-shower combo. Well, the master bath is my bath and the guest bath is his. We’re both happy.

Merging turned out to be fairly easy. We have one big thing left to do: wall hangings. That’s probably going to take a while. I have mostly family pictures and he has mostly artifacts. And I have no idea where to put them all.

I’m now feeling the fallout of having a book with low sales. Everybody has an opinion on what the next book needs to make it a winner.

I just hung up from a long conversation with my editor about her suggestions on the proposal for my new book. The conversation left me a bit depressed so I quickly made a follow-up call to my sister friend, Jacquelin Thomas. After complaining about all the changes my editor wanted, I asked Jacqui if I had legitimate concerns or if my pride was getting in the way. The too-honest Jacqui said it was my pride. And she was right.

One thing that I’ve always “prided” myself on in this business is that my stories were, in fact, my stories. I’ve never done a “book by committee.” In the past, I’ve dug my heels in so deep that I’ve delayed getting a book done by a year because I didn’t appreciate all the suggestions. At one point I said to an outside editor, “Why don’t you write the book and I’ll edit it?” Well, that relationship ended fairly quickly. I was glad.

As I talked to Jacqui today it became clear that I have a case of pride in wanting my work to be mine. In addition, I have a control issue. There is so much that we as writers don’t control in this business. I’ve always clung to the notion that I do control what I write. And when I feel like “they” want to take that away, my spine stiffens.

So what am I to do? In the past, I’ve pulled the book, paid back the advance money and moved on to another publisher. Or I’ve just dug in my heels and waited for the “idea person” to go away. Those moves made me feel I’d won the battle, but I’m beginning to wonder if I lost the war in the process.

This time I’m going to take a deep breath and give the ideas from my editor and agent some serious consideration, remembering that they are on my side and want the best for me and this book. My challenge is to give my editor a book that she can sell that’s also a book that I can call my own. I’m up for the challenge. I have to be. Given the way my Lord works, if I don’t get it now, I’ll be facing this same situation for the rest of my career.

NOTE: I need to distinguish here between what I consider normal edits that make the book stronger and suggestions that significantly change the story. I appreciate editorial letters that provide guidance on how to make the book stronger. My problem is with suggestions that I feel change the heart of the book. I never want to look at one of my books and see more of someone else in it than I see of myself.

This is the second post in my Newlywed at 50 series. The topic is the television and its remote. In the years that I lived alone as an adult, I have always had several televisions. In my last house — 3 bedrooms — I had four televisions. Yes, that’s overkill, but they were my friends. I would have them all on at the same time, on different channels, too, and could easily tune them all out. I guess I had them on to keep the house from being so quiet.

Now fast forward to life as a married woman sharing a house with a man who has a totally different view of the television. First, my hubby doesn’t work in front of the television. When he has work to do, he goes to our home office. Now since I share that office with him, it does have a TV, but he doesn’t turn it on. Second, I do everything with the TV on. If I’m in the office working, the TV is on. But I’m rarely in the office working these days since I’ve gotten my MAC laptop. It’s the first laptop that I’ve actually used as a laptop. Now I do most of my work in the bedroom in front of the TV. Honestly, the TV doesn’t bother me. I can tune it out to the point that it’s a non-issue.

Or I thought I could. My dear hubby has changed my opinion. I can tune out the television unless you change the channel on me, which DH does often. This threw me at first. I didn’t really understand what was constantly breaking my concentration. Then I realized that every time he changed the channel, I looked up from whatever I was working on. The TV didn’t interrupt my concentration but the channel changing did. Isn’t that fascinating?

So how did we resolve this major issue? Well, it probably would have been easiest had I just stopped working in the bedroom and moved to another room. What did it matter? They all have televisions. But we didn’t go that route. We agreed that when he changed channels he would stay on it for a couple of minutes before he changed again. I’m not sure he’s doing that but the channel flipping no longer bothers me.

I’ve even gotten used to watching football with him as he flips from channel to channel. The problem sneaked up on me at first though. I’d be watching the game and all of a sudden the uniform colors would change. I’m not a football fanatic so it would take me a minute or two to realize this wasn’t the same team I’d been watching a few minutes ago. But all is good. I’m now resolved to watching 2, 3 and 4 games at once.

There is no remote control issue in our house anymore proving once again that you can teach an old dog new tricks. In this case, I’m the one learning the tricks. No way will I call myself an old dog though.

If you’re a Publishers Lunch subscriber, you’ve already heard my good news. If not, here it is:

Essence bestseller, Christy finalist and RITA finalist Angela Benson’s DELILAH’S DAUGHTERS, in which Delilah and her three adult daughters see the fabric of their family unravel in their pursuit of success and also see it reshaped as each woman learns what’s most important in life, to Wendy Lee at Harper, in a two-book deal, by Natasha Kern at the Natasha Kern Literary Agency(World).

Yes, I am blessed to report that I have a new two-book contract with HarperCollins. This is good news because the sales for Up Pops the Devil, my first book with HarperCollins, were dismal. UPTD is the lowest selling of all my books. I’m not sure what happened, but it wasn’t good. I’m honored that my editor, the delightful Wendy Lee, went to bat for me, despite those numbers. Now we have the challenge of building them back up over the next few books.

While many authors are experiencing great success these days, there are many who are facing the same struggles that I’m facing. But we have to remember that people are struggling all over. Folks have lost jobs and homes. We need to show compassion and respect. Now is not the time to berate folks for loaning books or borrowing from the library or buying from used bookstores. I can’t do it. I’m blessed to have to day job ‘cos if I was living on advances from my publisher I’d have to buy all my books used!

Yes, it’s tough out here in publishing land, but let’s keep the faith and not turn on each other. We really are in this together.