Evelyn, I really appreciate the part about never saying hurtful things. George and I are kind to each other and that means a lot. Harsh words spoken can’t be taken back. You and Talib are wonderful role models. George is like him in temperament, I think. Oh, yeah, Talib’s ditto is not surprising since you two have really learned to make it work. Give him my best with his brilliant self.

Patricia, I do take things to heart and sometimes blow them out of proportion so your comment to not beat myself up is well taken. George is of the same opinion, by the way.

Thanks for all supportive comments, ladies. I will take your words of wisdom to heart.

Happy Holidays!

You may find that your goals change as you reorder your priorities. You may remove yourself from certain activities and insert yourself into others.

All of these adjustments that rise up in the early days of wedded bliss won’t be resolved in the early days. You’ll try some things that will work and others that won’t. Some will evaporate and you’ll later laugh that they were ever an issue; others may become nagging, recurring problems. Some you’ll address and they’ll go away only to resurface years later in a slightly different form or under different circumstances.

Don’t beat yourself up or stress yourself too much. Learn from each incident. Talk through them. And make the adjustments that make the most sense for the two of you.

Now, for something more concrete, agree how you two will handle “downtime”, i.e. evenings, weekends, and non-business trips, making sure you two have some time for you as a couple that is “untouchable”. Once you two have agreement, should something arise, talk about it and come to a new agreement, considering first whether it’s really critical to break your original pact.

If that same situation comes up again, maybe hubby can give you a half hour, and you agree that when he signifies your time is up, you quit, or you’re allowed one five-minute extension. No more. Something like that.