The only bit of real encouragement that I’ve had lately is from my doctor, also a Christian, who said something to the effect of “I admire the way you keep on doing things even though you have so many problems.” It was so unexpected but very heart-warming.

So am I happy? My one boss said that was the only thing in life that counted. But I couldn’t always keep a smile on my face when all sorts of pain bothered me and I was worried about my mother and other things (this is more than 10 years ago). I thought about it at that time. No, I can’t really remember being “happy” as most people think of it. But I’ve learned to be “content”–most of the time.

Today I had a moment of upset again. Since last June when I discovered that my electrical consumption had almost tripled in one month and I hadn’t the faintest clue as to why, I’ve been very short of cash and very worried. Nobody would help me find out why. The landlord just threw up his hands in a typical Italian gesture and said, “It’s your computer.” That was his answer every time I mentioned it.

On June 20, my hydro company finally accepted the findings of an electrician, whom I had to pay, that I had been paying not for my usage but for that of people who were using two air conditioners, two fans, TV with all the fancy doodads in addition to what I had: computer, some lights, a fridge and the occasional use of a microwave or toaster oven. No TV, radio, cd player, nothing else. The landlord had given us the wrong meters.

So on June 20 I was told that the cheque for the refund would be made out that week and I should have by the next week, i.e., the one just passed. I still don’t have it and I desperately need an air conditioner and someone to clean up my computer. I was told by the personnel at Hydro that the check would be made out this Thursday. I finally was able to talk to someone with a little bit more authority and she said that she would get the check as soon as it was ready and call me so that I could pick it up on Thursday and not have to wait for the mail.

Actually, I keep thinking that someonce owes me some interest and for a moment today, I really felt like suing our former landlord for messing things up so badly and causing me more hardships and health problems than necessary.

But our family is not one to sue people. The stroke that my father had and that cost him his livelihood and a lot of health problems was actually the result of a head injury he received when a young guy ran a stop-sign and drove right into my father’s car. The guy had no insurance but my parents, putting their faith first, refused to sue. And I can’t do anything else but follow their example.

But yes, I’ve felt more stressed during the last almost 2 years than I ever remember being before. I can’t remember what it was like when bombs were falling all around me during the last year and a half of the war. That was a very stressful time too, especially for my mother and grandmother. They survived that, and I survived this with the help of my pastor and his wife, as well as my sister’s. And of course, it goes without saying that God was always watching out for us.

So yes, most of the time I am content and I too am content just being content.

Amen and amen. Contentment is key. All we can do is “do us.” I know that your new release will do well as always.