Yes, this is a Newlywed at 50 post and yes, the title of my latest book is A Million Blessings, an anthology with three novellas. So what’s the connection? My novella, Showers of Blessings, is about an assistant pastor with a gambling addiction. This post is about the gambling habits of me and my new hubby.

Before y’all start praying and laying hands on stuff, I confess that neither one of us are gambling addicts. We have a casino about 40 miles from us that we visit occasionally. In fact, we saw Frankie Beverly and Maze there last year.

Our casino has about 1500 slot machines, no table games, and some type of dog racing activity where the dogs are on tv. I don’t know much about the dogs. We just pass through that area on our way to the buffet. Yes, buffet.

Our casino has the cheapest buffet in the world. Okay, maybe I’m exaggerating, but for $6.50 each we can get a salad, an entree, two sides, corn bread, dessert and a drink. The price is not bad and the food is very tasty. It’s really down-home southern cooking, almost as good as my mom’s. I haven’t decided yet if we go to play the slots or to eat the food. We always make sure we have at least $15 left over from gambling so we can eat.

Now about the gambling. We rarely win. We understand that the odds drastically favor the house. But we play anyway. We started out with the penny machines and now we’re up to two cents. We used to play the minimum but somewhere along the line we learned about progressive slots so now I’ll play the maximum. Not him.

We tend to break even when we go, though there have been times when the house has beaten us soundly. If I’m winning, he’s losing and vice versa. That’s most of the time and that’s a break even night. When we’re both losing it’s a good night for the house. My problem with slot machines is that I don’t like to lose. As long as we’re breaking even, I’m fine but once we get down, I want my money back. So then I try to play to get my money back. A losing proposition if there ever was one. Hubby just shakes his head and lets me lose until I reach our limit and then we go eat or go home, if we’ve already eaten.

How do we justify losing money? Well, our limit is less that we would spend if we went to a concert or show, so we look at it as our entertainment for the evening. Once you throw in that cheap buffet, it really does turn into an inexpensive night out.

My new hubby plays the lottery. We don’t have a lottery in Alabama but if we’re anywhere that there’s a lottery, he buys a couple of tickets. He even played when we were in England. The problem with my husband is that he plays but he rarely checks the numbers to see if he won. Believe it. To be honest, half the time, he can’t remember where he put the tickets. So much for us winning anything. The other day I volunteered to check his tickets for him. He had some as old as May of last year. Some were so faded you couldn’t read the numbers. I gave up.

So those are our gambling habits. Going to the local casino has lost some of its appeal so we haven’t been in a while. It’s sorta hard to sit there stuffing money in those slot machines when you know there are folks in your family who are out work and could use that money.

Another reason we haven’t been in a while is that they’ve changed the machines. You see, gambling is illegal in Alabama so they call the slot machines electronic bingo. There’s actually an electronic bingo card on each machine that flashes when you pull the slot handle. I’m not quite sure why.

Recently, our governor has cracked down on these illegal bingo halls, as they call them, so they have changed the way you play the slots. You have to pull the handle (or press the button) multiple times on each spin. I’m not sure why but some of the fun of it is gone with all the extra presses.

Several casinos (electronic bingo halls) in Alabama have been raided and shut down by our governor’s new task force. However you feel about state-sponsored gambling, for me, it felt very wrong to hear the governor say he was helping people who lost their casino jobs get unemployment and other public assistance. However you feel about gambling, how can you put people out of work when the economy is this bad? Unless, of course, they make more money by not working.

What makes all this so sad is that the states surrounding us–Georgia, Mississippi, Louisiana and Tennessee–all have a lottery, casinos or both. So if folks want to gamble, they only have to drive a little a little longer to do it.

What’s your take on the lottery and casinos? Have you ever been? Do you know any gambling addicts? I really didn’t have a model for my character in A Million Blessings since I don’t know any preachers who are gambling addicts. The idea for Showers of Blessings was a light-hearted one: If you preach against the lottery but you secretly play it, what do you do when you win the jackpot and your face is going to be blasted all over the media?

We like to cruise. Does that mean we’re an “old” 50? Sometimes I think we are.

Regardless, we just booked our annual Carnival cruise. Telling you that it’s a Carnival cruise tells you what kind of cruisers we are.

We cruise during that low season, between the week after Labor Day and the week before Christmas. We have a strict budget. Our limit is $200/day, including tips. So for a 5-day cruise, the most we’re going to pay is $1000 for the two of us. That’s for a stateroom with a balcony and includes $100 ($20/day) for tips.

We usually wait as late as we can to book, looking for a price drop. We learned our lesson last year when the price went up instead of down so we booked early this year. We’re doing an 8-day Southern Caribbean and we’re within our price window, including tips AND cruise terminal parking. Not bad at all.

A colleague of mine regularly does the Tom Joyner cruise. He paid over $4000 for the trip. I’m hoping that’s for him and his wife but I’m thinking that was per person since he said they had either a suite or a balcony. I almost fainted. That’s a lot of money. He reminded me that a portion of the cost was tax-deductible because it goes to the Tom Joyner Foundation to fund college scholarships. He also said he had a great time so the cruise was worth the cost. I just nodded. By the way, Royal Caribbean calls this year’s cruise an 8-day cruise. Carnival would call it a 7-day cruise since you really come back home on the 8th day.

On our last cruise, we met a couple at one of the tourist sites in Mexico. It was supposed to be a Mayan ruin but I think it was a tourist trap. Anyway, back to this couple. We were sitting (of course) at a bench along one of the paths when they joined us. They were on Royal Caribbean. The wife proceeded to tell us how much better Royal Caribbean was than Carnival and encouraged us to cruise Royal next time. They were on a 6-day cruise and we were on a 5-day cruise; we both had a balcony. Guess what? We cruised on Carnival for less than half the price they paid on Royal. Their eyes widened when they learned that and I got the feeling they’d be checking out Carnival next time.

Price aside, cruising works for us because it cuts down on the decision-making. We don’t have to decide which restaurant to go to or which show to see. We just go. And the variety of activities is so great that we each get to do things we want to do. We also like that they make up our beds twice a day. I know this is a small thing but it’s nice have a freshly made bed in the morning and right before bed, especially if you take a nap during the day the way we do. We also don’t have to cook. Food is always available, which is good and bad.

We also like the different cruise destinations. On our last cruise, which was out of New Orleans, we visited Cozumel and Progresso, Mexico. On our upcoming cruise, we’ll be leaving from Ft. Lauderdale and going to St. Maarten, St. Lucia and St. Kitts. We want to do a South American cruise sometime in the future. Those are about 15-days one way so we have to figure out how to do it.

There are some downsides to cruising. People can be rude. Children can be rowdy. And some people drink too much. That said, a cruise is what you make it. We haven’t had much interaction with the rude, the rowdy or the drunk. You can have a good time on a cruise or you can have a bad time. It’s really up to you.

Does anyone else like to cruise?

What happens after all your dreams come true? In these uplifting tales of faith and fortune, delve into the lives of three people whose hearts–and wallets–are on the line when an unexpected windfall tests them like never before. . .

Showers of Blessings by Angela Benson

Assistant pastor Ronnie has a shameful secret: he’s a compulsive gambler. And just when it seems he’s run out of luck, he finds salvation in a miraculous win. But nothing can keep Ronnie from recklessly betting his family’s future. His only way out is through renewed faith–and a desperate act of redemption.

Second Chance Blessings by Marilynn Griffith

Pro football player Craig Richards has it all, from the trophy wife to the lavish mansion–until an injury costs him everything. Defeated, he returns to the community and church he left behind–and discovers his loss just might be a blessing in disguise. But will a second shot at fame and fortune lead him astray once more?

Knight In Pink Armor by Tia McCollors

Dara Knight’s dream goes far beyond the multi-million dollar lottery she just won. Her real desire is to rebuild a poverty-stricken Atlanta community. But when a vicious gang sets out to destroy her project, will she have enough courage to prove that investing in people, against all odds, yields heaven-sent rewards?

On Sale: Monday, February 23, 2010
Format: Trade paperback
Price: $14.00
Publisher: Dafina
ISBN-10: 0758242115
ISBN-13: 978-0758242112

I’ll be posting all week about my story and the book so check back often!

Before my hubby was my hubby, we had the “money” discussion. It wasn’t a difficult discussion to have, but it was a difficult one to schedule. We both knew we needed to do it, but we kept putting it off.

In preparation for this talk, we agreed that we would each pull our credit report and share it with the other person. Talk about feeling naked! When you start looking at your life in terms of those 20+ pages from Equifax it’s a bit unsettling. Once the credit reports were printed, we had to share them. Then we had to look at them. All that took a couple of months!

Once we finally sat down for the talk, things went smoothly. Given that we are both older, we each had made long-term financial commitments to others in our families. He had obligations to his children and I had obligations to my parents. We discussed those and what they would mean to us and our financial future. It wasn’t a painful discussion at all.

Because of that discussion, we were able to plan our budget and individual contributions before we were married. We share expenses but we both keep our individual financial accounts. This has worked out well.

We don’t have his and her money when we vacation; we have vacation money. That led to an interesting “encounter” (I don’t want to call it an argument) during our last vacation. I’ll have to tell you about that in another post.

So did you have the “money” talk before you married? If so, how did it go? If you didn’t have it, do you wish you had?

It’s been a while since I’ve posted one of my Newlywed at 50 posts. I admit that I haven’t posted because I was a bit embarrassed by the incident that I needed to share. Well, today I take the leap and tell the story.

Confession: I’m a 50-year old married woman but sometimes I act like a high school teenager.

There I’ve said it. Guess what caused this bit of insight?

Recently George went on a 10-day out-of-town trip, our first separation since our marriage. Guess what I learned from that trip? It’s good have mutual expectations for calling. You can see where this is going, right? I told you it was high school.

Anyway, the first day he was away, I would guess he called me about one hundred times. Okay, I’m exaggerating, but he did call a lot. A whole lot. At one point, I might have asked, “Why are you calling?” I didn’t add “so much” but I was thinking it.

Well, the next day he called about 4 or 5 times. Guess what? I started wondering why he wasn’t calling me more often. I told you it was high school. The good news is I didn’t comment on this to him.

The next day I had to call him! Now I’m getting angry. Can’t the man pick up the phone?

The next day he called so early he woke me up. What was my first thought? Why is he calling so early?

Lesson learned: He can’t win when it comes to calling me when he’s away because I can’t be satisfied.

Had anyone told me I’d be this silly at this age, I would not have believed them. Somebody please tell me they’ve been just as silly.

I’m not much of a reality show watcher but two caught my eye this season: The Jackson Family Dynasty and One Big Happy Family. Now that they’ve ended their seasons, I’m left feeling sad for one family and inspired by the other.

Sad. The Jackson Family Dynasty left me feeling sad for the brothers. Their lack of maturity and self-awareness was stunning. They’re all older than me (I’m 50) but their words and actions reflected a much younger, and less-developed, mindset. While several moments in the show disturbed me, the moments that stick out are the ones with producers Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis. When Tito and Jermaine first met with them, the award-winning producers asked them what their sound was. The brothers had no answer. Jermaine may have blurted out something like “we want a hit.” That exchange showed how lost the four brothers are as a group. They don’t even have a vision or purpose for their music. All they have is some vague notion about carrying out the family legacy, which is really Michael’s legacy.

In Sunday night’s final show, Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis put a similar question to them: How do you answer the question, Where is Michael? Of course, the brothers didn’t understand the question. Jermaine said something about, “he’s in our hearts” and the other three agreed. As Terry Lewis said in his commentary, the brothers need to understand that they’re not carrying on the Jackson 5, they’re starting a new sound with four brothers. Until the brothers recognize this, I don’t seem them doing anything productive as group.

I have some sympathy for the brothers because it must have been difficult living in Michael’s shadow. That said, it’s time for them to give Michael his props. Michael was the greatest entertainer of all time, not The Jackson 5. They’re not Michael and can’t carry on Michael’s legacy but that doesn’t mean there isn’t a place for them. But first they have to accept reality. If it was hard making a name for themselves in Michael’s shadow when he was alive, I’m afraid it’s going to be even harder now that he’s dead. I advise them to listen to Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis. It’s all about the music. If the music (and not stardom-seeking) is their focus, they have a chance.

Inspired. One Big Happy Family left me feeling inspired. For one, the family began to see the results of their lifestyle changes in the form of weight loss. Most of all though, I appreciated what they showed as a family. Home has to be a place where you’re accepted and loved unconditionally, and that’s what their home was. If you watch Oprah enough, you’d think a family this big would have all sorts of self-esteem issues. What I saw was a reasonably well-adjusted family who ate too much and moved too little. Why do I say they’re well-adjusted? They talk to each other. The wife works and the husband is a stay-at-home dad. They live in a nice home and seem to have a comfortable life. The kids seems to have their heads on straight. I was pretty impressed that the son loved to swim. I was equally impressed that the daughter was in the flag corps at school. Why was I impressed? Because these activities are not normally associated with fat and obese kids. Had they been brought up in other families, they may have shied away from these activities because of self-esteem issues. But their parents encouraged them to pursue the activities. I can’t wait for the show to resume in the summer so that we can see how things are going with this family as they continue their weight loss journey and the daughter gets ready for college.

I have done a lot of solo traveling in my time. I’ve also travelled a lot with girlfriends. I have to say that traveling with a husband or a fiance is quite different. Traveling with a husband is also different from traveling with a fiance.

George and I stayed with my mom several times while we were dating and during our engagement. It’s nice that when we stay with her now we get to sleep together in the “big bed” in the “big room.” I get the feeling my mom’s glad we’re married. Now she doesn’t have to give up two of her rooms when we visit. I actually felt like a grown-up the first time we stayed with her after we were married. Strange, huh?

In general, traveling is different with my new hubby. That include driving trips. He’s the driver. I automatically get in on the passenger side every time I get in the car. This is a big one for me, but it’s been an easy adjustment. To let you know how little I drive, I got in the car the other day and I’d forgotten where the emergency blinkers were. I’m only the designated driver at night and that’s because my night vision is better than his.

If we’re doing a road trip, we start early with him at the wheel. When he gets tired, I take over. He usually ends up driving 2/3 of the way to my 1/3. It took me a while to get used to his driving though. During our first road trips, I couldn’t sleep while he drove. We are drastically different drivers. He drives slower than I do. I used to watch the speedometer while we were on the interstate and every time his speed dropped below 70 (it would go as low as 60), I’d get anxious and my head would start hurting. He also made more stops at rest stops than I did. As a single woman on the road, I never stopped at rest stops. Wendy’s was my stop since their bathrooms were always clean. Now I’m a rest stop lover.

I’ve gotten used to his driving now, so I tend to sleep when he’s at the wheel. He sleeps when I drive but not easily. He thinks I drive too fast and follow too closely. He used to put on brakes on his side of the car when I was driving. Talk about irritating! He doesn’t do it anymore. At least, I don’t think he does.

Air travel is a real bonus. He carries the bags, all of them. I have to beg to carry my own bag. I’ve given up. If he wants to do it, I let him do it. As my momma told me, “Let the man be nice to you.” So I do.

We like cruising. The details of why I’ll discuss in another post. Anyway, hubby really takes over when we get off the ship at the shore destinations. He negotiates with the cabbies and tour bus drivers. He negotiates with the vendors. This is important because I don’t negotiate. I ask people what they charge and then I pay it. He doesn’t go for that. So when we’re off the ship, he carries all the cash. Why? Because he’s afraid I’m going to pay way too much for something and/or give it all away. He’s probably right.

The result is that I’ve developed a negotiation strategy. I simply tell the vendor, “He’s not going to let me buy that at that price. How low can you go?” Guess what? It works. Well, it works sometimes. One woman told me that the next time I came to Jamaica I needed to bring my own money. I was insulted but it was sorta funny.

He’s also the trip photographer. Left to me, we’d have no pictures from any trip.

By now, you’re probably wondering what value I bring to the travel. To be honest, I’m wondering that myself. Not really. I keep track of each day’s itinerary. Before the GPS, I was also in charge of directions. I guess my job will be to input the addresses in the GPS. We’ll see.

Okay, who does the driving in your house? What’s it like traveling with your significant other?

A few weeks ago, I posted about the revisions my editor and agent wanted for my upcoming book. I went back and read that post and was happy to see that I’d written this:

This time I’m going to take a deep breath and give the ideas from my editor and agent some serious consideration, remembering that they are on my side and want the best for me and this book. My challenge is to give my editor a book that she can sell that’s also a book that I can call my own. I’m up for the challenge. I have to be. Given the way my Lord works, if I don’t get it now, I’ll be facing this same situation for the rest of my career.

Well, I did exactly that. And I still couldn’t see the point of some of the requested revisions. Guess what I did then? I emailed my editor (copying my agent) and asked if we could talk again. In the email, I posted my concerns about the proposed revisions and made suggestions for what we could do instead. As I hit the “send” key, I was a bit anxious about her response. The anxiety was all for naught. My editor and I spoke the next day. She was open to all the suggestions. In fact, one of them she had considered herself. I’m feeling like the book is “my book” again, only better.

Before taking my cooling off period, I was feeling hemmed in and overwhelmed by the suggested revisions. When I went back to look for my editor’s email, I was looking for a mail with an attachment containing a dozen revision requests. I only found a simple email with about five suggestions. While I still didn’t agree with all of them, I saw the goal she was trying to achieve. As a result, I was able to write a 3-5 sentence response to each suggestion explaining how I proposed to address it. It was that simple.

I have to say that I now have a stronger story that is still my story. The process worked. Lesson learned.

I hope you all had a blessed holiday season, enjoying your family and being thankful for what you have.

We spent Christmas with my mother in Atlanta. My cousin and her husband were also there. My mom wanted to prepare everything so nobody brought anything. And she prepared a feast. I would list everything she cooked but it would take the entire post. The preparation was her gift to us, she said, and you could tell how much she enjoyed doing it. My mom’s a young 72 and I thank God everyday for her good health and good spirits.

Given the state of the economy, most of our gifts this year were cash. It was very much appreciated. I just wish we had more to give.

George and I did exchange gifts. We went out on December 23rd and purchased them together. He got a GPS for the car and I got the iPhone (8 GB). He loves the GPS but the iPhone may be going back. The experience is not at all what I expected, though it was nice to return e-mails while sitting for an hour in traffic on Christmas Eve.

About that GPS. I learned early in my relationship with George that the old saying about men and directions was true, but this GPS has brought it home in a brand new way. Guess what? He debates the GPS. I couldn’t believe when he first did it. We decided to use it going out to dinner one night. Well, the GPS said the restaurant was on the right and he said it was on the left. I just looked at him. He was challenging “the lady,” which I how we refer to the GPS.

So now he has a GPS that he has to learn to trust. Men are too funny! My only comment during these GPS debates is “trust the lady” and then I shut up. Hey, if you’re not driving, there’s not too much you can say anyway.

I’d love to hear about your holidays. It’ll be a great way to start the year.

I know that’s not a topic you expect to see on my blog. Actually, it’s the name of another blog by a sales person at a major publishing house. It’s an interesting blog with some good information. He recently did a post on promotion that I found helpful. What You Can Do: Twelve Easy Steps, HERE.

My vacation from blogging is about up. I’ll be back next week with new posts.

Until then, take care of yourself.